Never Mind the Age Gap
APP DATING …Everyone will agree that it is a minefield at the best of times, and I can confirm that it gets even more complicated with age for both men and women. I have spent my entire life preserving and nurturing my body, so I'm in pretty good nick. Unfortunately, most people my age cannot say the same because they have invested in different aspects of their lives. The chances of men and women like me finding someone of a similar age and ambition with a youthful attitude and lifestyle is slim.
It leads to desperate measures on dating sites, where we downplay our age or even outright lie about it so as not to get filtered out of searches. When I talk to a potential match, I know from the first conversation if my date would be interested in dating an older man. If she is, then there will be a second conversation, and it is then that I reveal my actual age.
They will often ask, "Why did you lie about your age? That's terrible?" My response is, "Have you ever thought about a relationship with an older man? What if you were unaware of my age? How would you feel about me then? Is it not more important to do what feels right with a man who makes you feel special and accept whatever the future may bring?"
Regardless of sex, the partners' personalities, not their specific ages, ultimately make or break a partnership.
Perhaps naively, I have no problem with age-gap relationships because I am physically younger than my actual age and fitter than many men half my age. I have been single for so long that I truly realise how tough it is to find someone in a shrinking candidate pool.
As an older man, I no longer have a fear of commitment, which once terrified me. I have become patient and accepting that relationships can fail or succeed, regardless of age. I know that socially a significant age gap often raises eyebrows and social disapproval, but, in these enlightened times, is age an accurate reflection of who we are? Would it not be regrettable to reject someone you love because you fear what others may think? I know I'm not the only midlifer who is young at heart, and by the same token, plenty of men and women are older than their years. Why don't we ignore the stereotypes, break the rules and shake things up a little?
Age is a number, not an assurance of health or how long you will live or that I will die sooner than you. My potential younger partners may meet someone in their age bracket, but that does not guarantee that one of them will not develop cancer or get run over by a car.
The probabilities of dying around the same time are more significant if you choose a partner of the same age. However, other additional factors can affect the durability of a relationship, such as the odds of both partners being faithful or the probability of remaining in love.
Would it not be better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Isn't having a life with someone you love now preferable to the risk of nothingness? Acceptance of who and what you are can give you the courage to live life in the here and now. Follow your heart and dismiss what others think. The mind is always trying to figure out what the heart already knows.